The American Dream: Is it really for me?
Written June 18, 2019
A house in the suburbs, a white picket fence and 2.5 kids tend to represent the American Dream. I can picture the fluffy situation in my head. I’m pretty sure most family oriented commercials in the 90s used this scenario to sell their products. I think the American Dream is a really great dream for a lot of people, but as I get older, I find my dreams to be a little different.
Now don’t get me wrong, I might end up in a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids (oh boy, I think I’ll stick to one, but I’ll get into that later). But it’s not the end goal. And while people are thankfully much more accepting of other lifestyles than they used to be, people still tend to judge if you do not want these things.
My biggest problem with everyone having the same dream is that we are not carbon copies of each other. God made each of us unique and gave us not only different talents and personalities, but also different desires and dreams. I have had to come face to face with this concept lately as I realize that to outsiders, I may appear to have it all. I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband, a beautiful healthy daughter, a sweet and feisty dog, a nice house and a nice SUV (which btw is a basic chick’s stereotypical car but I still love it). I am very grateful for what I have, but I could take or leave the stuff part of our lives as long as we have each other and are happy. This is where I start to realize Andy and I are different from many other people in our industry. When you work for a financial institution, you are usually there for the pay and benefits. Most people don’t want to work in a cubicle for a bank as their dream job. But it can definitely fund the American Dream and then some.
Many of our coworkers strive to keep moving up the ladder and increase their lifestyle as they go. We think that is great and sometimes wish we wanted that so we could embrace the environment more. But Andy wants to fish and I want to write and be creative in some way. We also would like to be out in the country with some space. As long as we have room to store stuff, we’d prefer not to have a giant house. We choose things based on how they function with our life instead of what is the popular at the time. We like to choose things based on reliability because we usually use them until we wear them out. We also use our stuff to the fullest and don’t keep things pristine so we can sell them later.
So I’ve went over how different we can be in regards to money and possessions, but what about your actual lifestyle? Is what you want different than the world? We are leaning toward Hannah being an only child. We might end up deciding to have another child later, but right now we feel complete. Even mentioning that we might be done after one has people looking at us sideways. From talking to people with many kids, they also tend to get weird reactions to their life choices. But saying you want 2 kids, especially a boy and a girl? Well that’s perfect. I don’t know where people got an idea that the same number of kids is right for everyone, but it really isn’t the same for everyone. Some people do not want kids and I have heard the harsh responses that those people can face.
It is super important to remember how much better the world is when we have people with different backgrounds and lifestyles working together. If we are all the same, we will all contribute the same. Sometimes God has a bigger plan for you. Sometimes he even has a bigger plan for the person who seems to have it all that we just can’t see. My hope is that everyone reading this will make decisions based on their wants and talents and not based on society’s expectations. I recently caught myself thinking maybe I should just be grateful for what I have and not try for bigger things. Working toward something bigger is not exclusive of gratefulness. You can be thankful while working toward more. So please, even if you have to make sacrifices in areas where others may not understand, be yourself. Work toward things that bring you happiness and the rest will all fall into place.
