Bridge Builder
Written June 17, 2020
I want to build bridges not walls. No I am not going into construction. I know I have a lot of career ambitions, but building actual bridges is not on my bucket list. What I am referring to is the metaphorical bridge between two opposing ideas. I can see both sides really well in most situations. It can make me seem indecisive or flighty at times, but I truly see value in different perspectives. Most things are not where one side is clearly right and one side is clearly wrong. Even when something is clear, we are never going to educate people by telling them they are idiots or to get out of our lives. And that is what I am seeing happen online the past few months. Whether it is regarding the pandemic, politics, or social events going on around us, people have a lot of strong opinions on every side of an issue. Unfortunately, it seems to be bringing out the worst in some people. Even those who may be “right.”
Maybe you are a person who sticks to your stance and God made you that way to balance out someone like me. I get that because sometimes I am that person. I used to be more like that when I was younger and I have many family members who do not waiver in any stance they take. I do not think it is a bad thing overall, but I do think there is a way to believe you are right, not waiver on your views and still be kind to one another. This is what I want to do in my life. I would like to listen to people, truly hear what they have to say even if their view seems completely outrageous to me. Because how else are we going to learn from each other?
I hope we can all work together to provide different perspectives to people who may not understand. They may be wrong but maybe they are supposed to learn the hard way what we have known all along. Imagine for a second that you were raised by a family with hateful ideas. Maybe you never ventured far from said family and you never noticed any issue because that is all you have known. Would you be more likely to listen if I heard you out first or if I called you an idiot? We all have blind spots, some more worldly obvious than others, but they can humble us. These blind spots allow us to be vulnerable enough to see the kindness in others who treat us with respect even when we are wrong.
We should not keep pushing to talk about issues with people who are not receptive, but I think many people will be more receptive to a conversation if we approach them with respect. Building an actual bridge often takes years. The Golden Gate Bridge is an icon to San Francisco and took over 4 years to build (www.goldengate.org). I know we are in a world where we want everything to be quick and easy, but some of the most important things still take time. Building metaphorical bridges with people in your life may be one of them. You may start talking here and there with a family member who you disagree with and it could take years until you start understanding each other’s perspectives. But I think as long as both parties are respectful, building these bridges is worth it. Even when we are convinced we are 100% right on something, we always have room to learn and grow.
