Missed opportunities: How many times have you decided not to do something for fear of what other people would think?

Written May 27, 2019

 I already want to be defensive as I start to write this. Overall, I don’t consider myself as someone who cares much about what other people think.   I wouldn’t miss an opportunity because of what someone thought would I?   I have.  And I’m sure I will again at some point, but I hope that by writing about this I am less likely to do it again and hope all of you avoid it too. 

 I really wanted to be an actress when I was a freshman in high school.  It was a farfetched dream for a girl in Ohio who had only been in school and church plays, but I was excited about it.   No one was downright mean to me about this dream, but people were clearly like “yeah…ok Sarah.”  I ended up deciding to do journalism instead because of my love of writing.   Part of the reason I changed it up was because over time I started to think it was too farfetched because of what other people thought. I am a confident person and I still was wore down over time.  Now I am glad I didn’t go that route because I think my talent is stronger in other areas, but I wish someone had looked at my career options with me based on interest and talent instead of feeling judged for picking a career choice that is hard to obtain.  I would like to say inexperienced high school me was the only version that has made a decision based on what other people thought, but that is not the case.   On a smaller scale, I have decided not to post something on Facebook because of what people may think on multiple occasions.  I have also decided not to sign up for things because of how it may be viewed.  I have even avoided reaching out to people when I wanted to because I was afraid of what they would think.

I give you those examples to remind you that we all do it, but I think we should stop.  I want to make a conscious effort going forward to rule out the “what will people think?” question from my decisions.   You know who has to live with your decisions more than anyone else? You do.  Do you know who knows more about your situation than anyone else? You do.  You should be making the decisions based on what is best for you and your family.   If you need outside advice, seek it from sources that you know will also want what is best for you.   For example, I wouldn’t ask on Facebook for advice on a big life decision unless you are fully prepared to rule out a lot of the responses based on them not knowing the full story.  I personally like to pray for guidance and often find I feel more at peace about it even if I do not get a clear answer.

Be honest with yourself about what you want, why you want it and if it’s a good decision based on logic.  Consider how your decision will affect those you care about, but do not worry about what people think.  You want to start your own photography business on the side?   Look into the logistics of it, what you will need and what issues could come up, but don’t worry about what people will think.   I am sure a lot of photographers have heard the snarky comments about how “everyone thinks they are a photographer these days,” but there are still many successful photographers starting businesses all the time.    It doesn’t even have to be something as big as a career change.   Do you want to join a dance class but haven’t because of what people would think?  Go join the class!  We only get one chance at life and it is a shame to pass up on things we want to do and try because of what other people will think.     I challenge everyone reading this to do something they want to do that they normally wouldn’t only because of what people would think.  Even if it’s something as small as eating ketchup on your turkey sandwich.  And yes I have done that and yes I know most of you are judging me 🙂